In Semptember of 1999, 22 puppeteers entered the woods of Angel Island in search of Ranger Dan and a sculpting / mold-making workshop. Three days later, these minutes were found on a scrap of paper...These are the minutes of the SFBAPG meeting that took place on September 25th, 1999. President Patrick Johnson, Vice President Anita Coulter, Secretary Brian Stokes, and Treasurer Pam Brown were there, along with 18 or so castaways.
In what would be the World's Fastest Guild Meeting (beating out the ill-fated business meeting of the Greater Montana Area Puppet Guild of August 1993), Patrick announced new and old business at a blinding pace. Treasurer Pam Brown read the Treasurer's report (Oh, you want to know specifics? Hmm, ask me later.) A vote was taken about whether to produce more Guild Directories to distribute, provided they aren't too expensive. This was seconded. After a few upcoming performances that were mentioned (elsewhere in this newsletter), the meeting came to a screeching halt. Clocks were calibrated. Steam flowed out of the ears of the attendees... but in the end we knew. We had just completed the World's Fastest Guild Meeting. Special thanks to the President and Vice President for setting this up and verifying our time with the National Institute for Guild Meeting Times & Measurements.
But as if that were not enough achievement, Tim Miller and Mike Wick presented a workshop on sculpting and mold-making, in the hot sun. Secretary Brian Stokes provided sunscreen to all. For the next several hours, people wrestled with plastillina clay, convincing it to take a desired form. Then they smothered their creations with Ultra Cal (which I found out later is really just the stuff they make Wendy's Frostys ™ out of). An Eternity (for men) later, the mounds of melted milkshake hardened and became like large fossilized sea shells. Finally, we got to claw out the Styrofoam and clay, revealing a vacuous hole in the shape of our creations. Meanwhile, Tim and Mike had completed their example five times faster.
Some folks had to be carried away to board ferries, as they were not staying over. Just as well... we ate lasagna, went walking and playing around with the acoustics of the old military forts on Angel Island. Secretary Brian Stokes attempted to persuade others to help him videotape a parody of "Blair Witch Project" known as "Puppet Witch Project". Alas, when asked, Ranger Dan claimed he had not heard of any legend regarding the Puppet Witch of Angel Island. (He was just trying not to scare anyone, I think. I KNOW it's out there.) Later that night, we played endless card games and did hilarious improvisations with puppets (many of which were captured on the Secretary's camcorder).
In the early morning we got up from lack of sleep and found puppets stacked on the ground. Who had done this?? We heard weird noises... *pant pant* oh my God!!! PATRICK!!!! PATRICK!!!! *pant* WHERE ARE YOU??? PATRICK????? *pant* PATRICK?? Oh wait, you're Sean... PATRICK??? *shaky descriptions of trees in the night as the minutes writer runs for dear life*
*THUMP*