Monday, July 11, 2005

March of the Penguins proves Intelligent Design is Bogus, Part I

I'm no atheist, but watching March of the Penguins may make you question your opinions about teaching kids the increasingly popular Intelligent Design Theory in science classes.

What sort of intelligent being would deliberately create a mating ritual as obfuscated as that of a poor penguin?

(Design notes of the Intelligent Designer follow... )
I think I'll make cute birds that can't fly, but can swim and walk and slide on their bellies. I'll put them on the South Pole, where sliding is easy. I'll put lots of food right underneath the ice. Hmm. It'll be cold there. -100 F at times. Too cold to expose the egg. Oh well, I'll have the male and female penguins take turns getting food 70 miles away where they can access the ocean, while the other keeps the egg warm. The male penguins will have to huddle together to keep from freezing together, and not eat for two months while they wait for their mates to come home

(Me as a 12 year-old pupil in science class)

Brilliant! But may I make a suggestion or two?

How about letting there be HOLES in the ice where the mating is taking place? That way, you avoid the constant marching back and forth for food, and the starvation?

Too hard? What about making the penguins have beaks strong enough to make their own holes in the ice, or claws maybe? What about egg shells with anti-freeze?

I'm told in class that you're intelligent. Lacking in creativity? (Seems unlikely, given that you invented Creation itself, right?) Are you just lazy?

I'm sure you have your reasons.

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posted by Brian at 1:09 PM

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