Saturday, September 22, 2007

Adventures in Saturday Morning Kids Programming

Saturday Morning TV ain't what it used to be. Obviously, there was still commercialism aimed at kids back then. Boy, did I want Tobor: Robot Spelled Backwards, Big Trak, and an Atari ("Have you played Atari today?"). But if you're a girl today, here's what commercials you'll see during the "Kewlopolis" set of programs:

Barbie Fashion Fever Shopping Boutique Playset
(Shows a disembodied hand swiping credit cards over and over. "You never run out of money!" "Buy it!" "You can buy cool stuff!" "Buy It!")

Race To the Mall Set (Polly Pocket)
(An attempt to make Hot Wheels™ race tracks "cool" for girls)

Meanwhile, there's a show called Trolls. No, it's not a fantasy themed, Dungeon & Dragons show. There are these girl Trolls who complain about anything they don't perceive as cool (science, having to wear unfashionable clothes, etc) There are parent characters inflicting those things on them. Lots of "Whatever", "You're a loser", and other quotes you'll be glad to have your daughter imitating. The theme song is a generic processed pop female vocal singing "It's a cool thing. It's a hair thing. It's a big thing. Music, Fashion, Make-up." Huh. Very troll-like.

I kind of like Dance Dance Revolution, based on the exercising videogame. It's basically a dance contest show with a bias towards hip-hop. There's a "nerdy" host that self-effacing but likeable and can dance pretty well. The focus is on perfecting a skill, not on "being cool."

God, if I hear the word "cool" more than 5 times a minute again, I'm going to dress like a punk rocker.

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posted by Brian at 9:30 AM 1 comments links to this post